


Pretend this is normal

by Slugem



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, half life but the ai is self aware
Genre: Additional warnings will be in the author's notes if there are any, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Arguing, Background Relationships, Benrey just thinks they're even, Canon-Typical Behavior, Fix-It of Sorts, Gordon Freeman needs a break, M/M, Not A Game AU, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Permanent Injury, Post-Canon, Temporarily Unrequited Love, no Joshua sorry, slow burn but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 10,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27873089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slugem/pseuds/Slugem
Summary: Gordon Freeman wants to go home and live normally, without distractions. But, a distraction just so happens to follow him home.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 19
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn't all that funny, really.

He was laughing out of hysteria more than anything.

That, and maybe the fact that an eldritch alien god who had previously tried to kill him and the fellows he cared about had resorted to hitting him with the door of a bathroom stall. 

They weren't even quite in a life or death situation at the moment, they were pretty sure they weren't at least. But seeing Benrey absolutely made his heart race. They killed him, and now he was just. Back again. Gordon of all peoplep didn't understand it, for now he'd just noted that he was most definitely immortal and there was nothing he could do about it. Or, that he was haunting Gordon, which might actually be worse. 

But he was laughing. He just wanted people to leave him the fuck alone for a while, he wanted to go home and spend some time in silence. This shit really never ends, huh?

He thought he'd never see Benrey again at all after Xen, and he didn't want to. Hatred had pooled in his mind and he wasn't- no, he couldn't forgive him for what he did. Hurting Gordon- mutilating him- was already bad enough. But he tried to hurt the people who Gordon had grown to care about, and Gordon wasn't open to forgiveness. Not for Benrey, at least.

Maybe for everyone else. For Coomer, and for Bubby, but not for Benrey. The thought of forgiving him had never even crossed his mind. 

And it stopped. The slamming of the door only coming a few inches shy of hitting him (and actually hitting him, a few times) had ceased. Benrey had been cackling like a madman, but he wasn't showing too much of a bold expression anymore.

Gordon had gotten lost in his thoughts, something he'd done much too often lately. How long had Benrey just been standing there looking at him like that? He looked rather amused, with the fact that Gordon was glaring as if he was looking through him. (maybe Gordon was looking through him, if that haunting bit just so happened to be right.)

Looking back like he was just too tired to laugh anymore. That's new. His eyes skipped around taking in the other's features. Right, he hadn't really gotten the chance to do that before. 

He was either walking much too far ahead, or disappearing, or maybe he was even dead at the time, or- Focus.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" that snapped Benrey's attention back to look him dead in the eyes. "you're uh not lookin too good. i- i'm still gonna have to follow you, man." was all he uttered, leaned up against the side of the door significantly blocking the way out. 

"Not this bullshit again- move." Gordon made an attempt to push past Benrey, to which Benrey stood his ground momentarily before taking a few steps back and mumbling something that Gordon couldn't hear over the sound of his own hundreds of thoughts. Was this just gonna be his life now? He began making his way back to his seat in the theater.

"hows the arm?" Benrey asked trailing not-too-far behind Gordon.


	2. Chapter 2

It stayed that way the whole walk back home. With Benrey trailing along behind him and asking the occasional question, Gordon was basically too tired to put up a fight. The arm question- was answered by a swift "None of your fucking business" as he walked, legs willing to give out beneath him. 

"What about you, don't you have somewhere to go to instead of following me back to my house?" Gordon said, trying to sound as mad as he possible could with the little to no energy he had at the moment. "nope" he said with his hands stuck behind his back, walking like a guard trying to escort someone.

He was supposedly a security guard anyways, right? Was he ever really a guard? Or was that all just a big lie to make Freeman feel more stupid for believing him?

"No home? Maybe some kind of family?" Benrey shook his head. "i'm not even s'posed to be be here right now, bro." he picked up the pace a bit to keep up, still in guard stance. "Yeah. Right. You're an alien." Gordon scoffed out loud at the thought. "Why don't you just find some way to get back to your home planet, or whatever?" he turned and looked at Benrey, who was looking straight ahead at nothing in particular.

"because it's like- it sucks. i don't wanna go back to xen. straight up died there. s'not fun" This guy was for real? "besides, 'f i go on tellin people i came from xen they're not gonna send me back." Gordon turned towards him and squinted in confusion.

Benrey wasn't supposed to even be on earth right now. He was supposed to die back on Xen, and not come back. It took so much for them to 'kill' him, but he was still here.

Back on earth with the rest of the Science Team.

Everyone else was under the illusion that Benrey was dead right now too. Unless Gordon somehow figured out how to kill Benrey permanently, and by himself, he would have to break the news to- literally everyone else. 

And he didn't know how they'd take the news after everything that happened. Last he really knew- the last time they fought with Benrey- Coomer and Bubby were angry, and Tommy was- scared. He looked scared. Benrey and Tommy knew each other before the Resonance Cascade, didn't they? This would either be good news, or break Tommy completely. 

"So- what? Where are you gonna go?" He asked waving his hands out in front of them, almost hitting Benrey. "figured i was just gonna stay with my friend for now" Gordon took a deep breath. "And who would that be??" He questioned further. "you, duh. we've been walking together for like an hour, thats obvious." he said, sticking his tongue out a little.

"We're- we're not fucking friends! I hate your guts! You told us that you were gonna kill us!! I didn't even want you to come back after we killed you!!!" He stopped in his tracks, yelling on about how they were very much not friends, Benrey coming to a halt not too far along the sidewalk aswell. "calm down, yeah? gettin' a lil mad there huh? worked up?" He said in a tone as if he were trying to console a toddler. Gordon let out a loud and angry groan, and continued walking faster than he had before.

Benrey still followed like a lost puppy, boots clicking loudly against the pavement as he walked. They didn't say another word to each other as they wallked.

When the arrived Gordon fumbled with his keys, desperately trying to unlock the door as fast as possible to get inside. Benrey stood a foot behind him, one step down off of the porch. He finally opened the door, slamming and locking it behind him before Benrey could even pick his feet up to go inside.

Gordon slumped against the door, resting most of his weight on it and attempted to run a hand through his hair. He took to touching things; his floor, the wall beside him, his own chest, just to feel with his right hand again- with no luck. 

It was supposed to be better, that's what Gman said to him. He could see his arm right there in front of him, but he couldn't feel his fingertips. The touch was completely lost. He should probably look at it at least.

But first, he'd have to start the process of taking off the HEV suit. He had to anyways, but he completely dreaded the long process of it. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

When he did finish, Gordon stood in his bathroom examining every detail of his his right arm. Every detail his tired eyes could see, that is. It wasn't his arm, not his real arm at the very least. It was fake, of course it was. He didn't think Tommy's dad had that much power, anyways. The ache where his arm had been severed stayed. 

He stood in the shower, warm water soaking over him for longer than he had kept up with. Half the time spent trying to wash his face and hair, fortunately the HEV suit protected most everything else.

He still felt wrong. Something felt wrong. Things weren't supposed to go back to normal, and he knew that they never would. But what in the fuck. He was just left to bare the weight of everything he'd done in Black Mesa and Xen alone. Every single mistake he made rested on his shoulders now.

It was one of those things he couldn't find help for from the others. Not yet. God, they were probably all back at home with that feeling, too. 

He got out and got dressed, then he stared at himself in the mirror for a while. His hair had gotten really tangled, huh? He walked out of the bathroom with every intention to brush his hair, softly greeting Benrey on the way to his room- hold on a goddamn second.

"How did you get into my house????" He questioned, adjusting his glasses. "how did i not get in your house?" he replied nonchalantly. He was just- sitting there. Legs crossed and his hands clasped together as if he was patiently waiting for Gordon to come back out, as if Gordon had just invited him over for the company.

Benrey was never patient, though.

"What's your problem?" Benrey shifted a bit more towards Gordon. "wha? I uh, I don't have a problem. whaddabout you?? you got a uh, an issue?" Gordon waved his hands in front of him. "YES I have an 'issue'!! You were supposed to stay out of my life!"

Benrey winced as he yelled, probably one of the more noticeable expressions he's made. 

After everything Gordon wanted to 'be the bigger person', as hard as that was. He needed a break. And a long one at that. When Benrey didn't seem to have anything else to reply with, Gordon turned around and walked back down the hall to his room, and shut the door behind him.

The door thing didn't really matter anyways. If Benrey wanted to get into his room, he simply would.

Maybe if Gordon went to sleep, he would wake up and Benrey would get bored and leave him. That's what he would do when they slept at Black mesa, a lot. 

"what a maniac" he thought. How could someone return just like that, to the person that tried so desperately to kill them? Gordon didn't understand it. He sure as hell wouldn't have gone back to find Benrey after the fight.

It had been so long since he'd actually slept in a bed, or anywhere even remotely comfortable for that matter. Benrey would just have to deal with the couch, if he even slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is gonna involve a few headcanons,, so I hope it doesn't actually get too confusing. I'll add some notes at the end if I feel like they do, though


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo! i went on temporary hiatus because i didn't really know where to take this fic for a while so i pre wrote a bunch of stuff, updating will be more frequent now

He was still on the couch, which deep down was expected but there was still the hope he would be gone in the morning. He was laying on his back, legs over the arm of the chair with his hands still clasped together now resting on his chest.

His boots were off, now on the floor next to the couch. Gordon looked at him for a few moments, tired eyes trying to completely process the other's presence.

Well, he caught Benrey's attention as soon as he entered the room; eyes widened and sitting up slightly tracking his movement until he practically hovered over him. Gordon just stared down at the other, not saying anything but taking in his features. It was most definitely his turn to do that.

Sure he had already gotten to look at Benrey this way before, but now he saw the other in a new light. He was much paler than Gordon would have admitted to himself in the past, and his eyes- looking into them felt hollow. A dark shadow hung around his eyes, He couldn't tell if it was from the helmet or not.

Some of Gordon's hair fell into his face.

Benrey just sort of stared back, Gordon wondered if this was just something he was used to. How many others knew that he wasn't human?

"are- are we about to kiss right now?"

He snapped out of his thoughts at the stupid dialog, the other smirking at what he'd said. Gordon backed up and brought a hand to move his hair out of the way. "I'm so tired of you-!"

Gordon walked into the kitchen, ultimately leaving Benrey alone in the living room. He thought for a moment, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do. He couldn't go back to his home planet, no. They would just hold him somewhere to be examined if they knew he wasn't human, and that was no good last time.

Besides, he was supposed to be dead. He decided that maybe Gordon wouldn't tattle on him about that stuff. He really wanted to be friends with Gordon again. Benrey had figured that they were pretty much even; with Gordon technically 'killing' him back in Xen.

Even though Benrey didn't really know Gordon was gonna get his arm cut off.

It was all just a rush to doing something Benrey ended up not wanting to do, and he couldn't make Gordon understand it. If he would, Gordon would still just be angry at him anyways.

Benrey had no problem hurting people, he had done it before. But the longer things went on, the more Gordon grew on him. The more things went on, the more irreversible it all became.

In the process he had hurt their friends- the people he cared most about- Benrey had determined; 'that sucks'.

Gordon was the last person on his mind when he 'died', and the first person on his mind when he got back. If he could convince Gordon that he was one of the good guys now, then the others would surely believe them! right?

Out of everyone else he probably missed Tommy the most. He was there when he was being held for examination, and Tommy was the first person he taught to translate the sweet voice. He was always nice.

He hummed out as he heard Gordon walk back into the room.

Gordon sat, just by Benrey's head where he was laying and looked down at him with concern showing in his face. "I still hardly know you."

That hooked his attention in a way, drawing him back towards Gordon yet again. "what if there's not much to know?"

"Well, I still want to know all of it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i joked around but then i was encouraged to put "are we about to kiss right now?" in this so. (this is a really serious fic i know)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oohh angst time.... I'm better at writing angst than fluff now so that's fun

Gordon stared deeply into his eyes- though he wasn't staring back, he tried to find something there.

The end- that fight- was still processing in Gordon's head. But Gordon wanted to find some kind of sense in it. Somehow. He wanted Benrey to give him a clear answer.

The problem was; even though Benrey was irritating, and rude and had hurt Gordon before in the past, something in Gordon made him want to know the other. There was something so intriguing about him that Gordon couldn't quite place.

Maybe it was his physical features, or his personality. Maybe it was something he knew about him already that drew him back in for more. And it was unbearable. Gordon hated every second that Benrey intruded his personal thoughts.

Benrey's gaze briefly caught Gordon's. "i've been here- almost- as long as i can remember. they wanted to examine me becus- y'know, alien stuffs..." He trailed off, fiddling with his hands. "and then i met tommy." That wasn't very surprising. Gordon had kinda figured that by now, considering he and Tommy already had matching friendship charms.

"tommy stayed with me lots and then i met doctor coomer- well, one of him. after that i was just doin my job. checkin people's passports 'n stuff" He stopped. That was really it??

"Why me??" Gordon asked, sounding as pathetic as ever. There was a lot of genuine hurt behind the question. It didn't make sense, not to Gordon. "huh?" His face scrunched up. "Why did all that stuff happen to me? Do you just fuckin hate me or something?" Benrey couldn't quite answer the first bit. They had gone too far. Benrey had gone too far. That's the only way he could explain it. He was the bad guy, whether he liked it or not.

As fun as it was- being bad- there was something else he ended up wanting just a little bit more.

And now, maybe- just maybe- he could have that. That's just one of the perks of being immortal.

It would be so out of character for him to apologize to Gordon straight up- so if it meant getting Gordon to trust him again, sure, he would be irritating. He thought he was pretty good at that.

"i don't hate you... we were supposed to be friends, remember?" He took Gordon's right hand in his own. "i don't wanna be all bad 'n stuff anymore and i- i didn't think they would hurt you like this" Gordon just about snatched his hand away, but it was different. Benrey wasn't playing dumb about it this time. Gordon let it happen. Just this once.

"You're really immortal, huh?" Gordon's tone felt lighter, less- pissed off- than Benrey usually heard. It was nice. "uh huh, i still feel stuff though" He slowly loosened his grip on Gordon's hand. "So you could like, feel it when you got shot and stuff?" Benrey nodded. Gordon's eyes widened in horror. "That's pretty fucked up, dude."

Benrey sat up, now completely letting go of the other's hand.

"you get used to it after a while" He had never taken into consideration how horrible it must feel to get shot at, and cut completely in half. It was unbelievably painful to lose his arm, it still was, but Benrey had experienced death more than once. He cringed at the thought of carelessly shooting him at Black Mesa.

Even if you are immortal, you appreciate when someone would spare you the pain of getting seriously injured. Benrey thought about it as payback, anyways. For the arm thing at least. To be fair, He'd offered up his life a couple times on his own, so it wasn't all Gordon's fault.

"lemme ask you somethin' now" Gordon snapped out of his darkening thoughts and looked up. "how come you forgave bubby and all so soon but not me?" damn, it gave something to think about again. He couldn't really tell exactly why that was.

The closest to an answer he could come up with was that Benrey had been antagonizing him the enitre time before the sabotage and Bubby hadn't. Not as much, at least.

Ultimately, that came out as; "Because I actually liked Bubby." which sounded a hell of a lot more hurtful than Gordon had intended, honestly, he didn't mean it exactly like that-

Benrey's face immediately scrunched up again and he avoided as much contact as he could with Gordon for the rest of the day.


	5. Chapter 5

Benrey could sleep, but it wasn't necessary and he preferred not to.

Laying awake with nothing to do for hours on end was definitely not the most fun; but he had been through worse.

Gordon had every right to still hate him, it didn't make some of the things he said less hurtful. He wanted to win over his affections, he had been trying to do that since Black Mesa.

Too bad you can't take back a stupid grudge after (roughly) four days when things go too far and you suddenly have a 'change of heart' so to speak.

Things seemed easier now- but also harder. It's harder to repair a relationship than to start a relationship off on a good note, but it's also easier to fix said relationship when the object of your desire isn't violently fighting for their life the whole time.

Pros and cons.

The day had started off kinda normally, it only emphasized how different Benrey was from actually humans. Gordon would eat and sleep, but Benrey didn't need to do any of that to live. And he preferred not to do something he didn't have to.

Benrey had taken to following Gordon around the house and asking him questions about the most insanely obvious things, like what he was doing at the time (which was never too much, the process of going back to normal after- all that- is slow, man).

Then, Gordon said something.

"You know, I've never seen you without your helmet on." Benrey narrowed his eyes, Gordon chuckled at how much more serious he got at that rather than when they were talking about how he had lived after death.

"what uh, what're you tryin'na say, feetman?" he hissed, putting the most emphasis on the stupid nickname he had come up with. "Do you even have hair under there?" He ducked his head down, making a weak attempt to see under it.

"as a matter of fact i DO have hair. what makes you wanna see it so bad, huh??" He raised his hands, blocking Gordon's line of sight. "I just mentioned it, geez." as he went to walk past, he placed a hand on top of Benrey's helmet and moved his hand just a bit, similar to how you would ruffle someone's hair; though none of the other's hair was visible.

"All I'm saying is that you've seen me without my HEV suit on, but I've never seen you without your uniform on." he turned, following Gordon into his room to continue the now nearly one sided conversation. The bastard followed him everywhere, boots on and everything. He never took them off unless he was laying on Gordon's couch.

Gordon sighed, tilting his head to the side just a bit and facing Benrey. "Doesn't look like you want to change out of your uniform.." his eyes shot down to Benrey's boots, heels firmly buried in the carpet, before turning back to what he was previously doing. "don't have anything else. livin' at black mesa like bubby, can't really go back there now" He rocked on his heels a few times, watching Gordon dig in the far end of his closet.

" 'sides, you're still dangerous, maybe?? a threat?? i've gotta guard, man. job's to keep everyone safe from uh, people like you." Gordon turned to face him once again, now holding a few things. "Do you want to change out of your uniform or not?" Benrey looked as Gordon held it out to him, it was just some casual clothes. Oh, and he'd put a hat in there too. Just to be sure.

"still gonna have to keep my eye on you" he made brief eye contact with the other, who only rolled his eyes in response. "You can use my bathroom, if you want. Just- don't mess with anything you don't have to." He gestured with one hand watching as Benrey walked backwards for a moment until he reaced the doorway, then turning around. It was peculiar. Gordon had never seen someone act like that before, it was better not to question it but it was also hard not to when you're coming face to face with it.

'Don't think about it too much', Gordon repeated over and over to himself. He was just doing something nice. Being the 'bigger person', just like he wanted to. After all, he didn't know if anyone else would let Benrey stay with them besides himself, which he was pretty torn on already.

It was only fair to make sure someone was comfortable if they were a guest in your own home. Benrey had kinda lost everything he had before, that weighed in Gordon's mind. He couldn't go back since he was supposed to be on the down low. Everyone thought he was dead and it would bring some major panic if he randomly showed up at Black Mesa (what was left of it, anyways).

So this was fine. It was all good. He said he didn't want to be bad. That didn't make up for the trauma but hey, at least it was a start?

He heard Benrey shuffle out of the bathroom and he turned his attention back in the direction of the doorway, crossing his arms and shifting his weight to one leg. "I *am* bigger than you." He mumbled, looking over Benrey.

Without his uniform on, all the extra padding, it really showed just how small Benrey was. Smaller than Gordon, at least. And without his boots it really showed how short he was, too. He was never going to hear the end of it now.

The shirt he gave Benrey hung off of one shoulder, to the point where his collar bones were showing. That's fine.

He came out wearing the hat he'd thrown in there for him, anything to get Benrey to take off that helmet. Although maybe he would've preferred seeing his hair. Or whatever was under there.

Not that he really wanted to see Benrey at all, but he was still curious.

He had shorts on, too, they came down just past his knees though. It was very obvious that Benrey was shorter.

"wha how come you're taller than me now?" he scurried over towards Gordon. "If you used to be this height then I've been taller than you the whole time. It must be your boots-" He looked the smaller man up and down again. "yeah but we were like- the same"

Benrey picked up one of his boots, leaning onto the doorframe to keep some kind of balance as he put it on. It *was* his boots. The difference between the boot and his other foot had to be at least a few inches, and trying to stand properly made him stumble a bit.

Gordon started laughing at that. Benrey may as well have been wearing high heels the entire time.

"it's- hey it's not that funny, feetman" The nickname- that god awful nickname- only made it funnier. He wanted this. He wanted to make Benrey mad, just like Benrey had done to him so many times.

At some point, not too terribly far along, Gordon did stop laughing and looked back up only to be met by Benrey pouting at him which almost made him start laughing again.

"No you look g- you look fine, Benrey." He tensed up, closing his mouth that had previously been partially agape and turned away. It didn't mean anything other than Gordon being a decent person even after everything that had happened, but Benrey had let himself get excited about it anyways. Though It didn't show through in his expression.

That takes care of the uniform thing at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not doing like tons of filler, mostly because writing like,, eating and stuff is uncomfortable for me jdjsbsnsnpwk


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is gonna be a little bit of filler for now but it's only to get to the point where i need this fic to be so... please bare with me

It just so happened to be the 4th day in a row for 'checking in on Gordon's mental health', brought up in the first place by none other than Tommy Coolatta. Said boy had mentioned that he'd wanted it to be a group effort, but didn't want to disturb the two other members of the Science Team while they were sorting out a roommates situation on their own, Which was news to Gordon.

It only made sense for Bubby to live with Coomer since it was hard to go back to Black Mesa, almost exactly the same reason Benrey couldn't. It had involved a lot of murder of innocent employees unfortunately.

On this specific call, Tommy had asked about coming out and seeing Gordon in person at some point in the near future, which Gordon really didn't want to deny. He left it at 'not right now', he would have to take care of literally everything else before then.

Benrey had insisted on trying to figure out who Gordon was on the phone with every day, but Gordon only forcibly shushed him like the dad he was. If Benrey knew it was Tommy, then he would want to talk to him. And if Benrey talked to him, Tommy would definitely know he wasn't dead and maybe or maybe not flip out about it.

Gordon couldn't quite determine which reaction he would have just yet.

"c'monn... i just wanna know who you're talking to" he slumped against Gordon, who was holding his phone violently out of reach. "It's something you don't need to get into right now," he clenched his teeth, glaring down at Benrey. "i just wanna know if you've got a hot date or somethin' " he batted his eyes, still keeping his usual neutral expression.

"I do not have a hot date, I don't have to tell you everything that goes on in my life-" Benrey moved some of his weight off of Gordon. "so you're single?" Gordon scooted just a bit further away, watching Benrey's expression shift into something that looked like he was about to bust out laughing at his own question. He decided that the terrifying part was that he really couldn't tell if Benrey was asking as a joke or not. He watched for a moment as Gordon reacted, loking rather mortified on his end of the couch. "...noted"

Gordon would have to tell everyone about this at some point or another anyways, why not just get it over with already? The reactions most likely wouldn't change too much, so why not?

He'd do it then.

Tomorrow.


	7. Chapter 7

The evening was much more calm than the early mornings, Gordon would settle in for a bit and try to do something to regain normalcy. That was until this evening, Benrey had gotten curious about why exactly he stays in his room so much and came to check in on him.

He stood for a moment and looked in through the crack in the door; Gordon seemed to be doing a whole lot of nothing. Just sort of laying there, phone beside him staring up at the ceiling, partially dozing off.

That's why he didn't notice the other who was just now beginning to enter the room. He wasn't loud, his footsteps were close to silent without his boots, it took until he was right next too him for Gordon to actually notice. "What are you doing in here??" he half-yelled at Benrey who only examined the room for a few seconds, before turning and facing him.

"got bored waitin' for you. it's- it's real boring, man." He looked too exausted; mentally and physically to put up a fight. ".... Do you sleep out there?" he asked, eyes shifting to the wall with his expression changing from one of anger to confusion.

"nope." he looked back and into Benrey's eyes, which had a noticeable shine even under the shadow from his head being bowed. "You really just- wait for me to get up?" he nodded a couple times, never breaking eye contact. "*Can* you even sleep?" Benrey picked up his hands and fiddled with them for a moment "yeah man i jus- just gotta keep watch. keep an eye out... guardin'."

"Aren't you tired?" Mentally, yes, very much so. He needed a hug, probably. Maybe two if that too much to ask. Physically? ...That problem had never really come up. He didn't *really* need to sleep, but he did sometimes. He had just slept while they were in Black Mesa- on the cold, hard concrete.

The silence stayed for almost a minute, though it wasn't uncomfortable, Gordon decided to break it anyways. "Come up here if you want." The space beside him remained, as he shut his eyes again when Benrey didn't say anything else.

The option was open, Gordon had just said so himself, but it felt like it was something he shouldn't have the right to do. After what he'd done; sure he felt pretty guilty about it, but he can't do anything about back then. He'd come to terms with it. He knew that Gordon hated him, that's why it felt so bad.

Benrey stayed incredibly still; when he didn't even move (or breathe it seemed), Gordon peeked one eye open to look up at him. "Look man, the couch isn't comfortable for sleeping. You slept on concrete last. You can come up here." Benrey blinked a few times, then shifted just a bit.

Comfortability was not a problem for him. He had been through worse. A lot worse. It did not make the offer any less enticing, though.

He sat on the space he assumed Gordon was talking about, just at the end of the bed on the opposite side as Gordon.

"You know you don't HAVE to sit down there... you can always come lay closer to me over here if you want." Benrey whipped his head around, and looked at the other. "i don't sleep around you for a reason," he started off as if he were going to continue, but left a long pause after. "Can't be any worse than what happened before, right?" he chuckled a little, Benrey was still cautious.

"you wanna know it hm?" Gordon took a breath, "Yeah why not" Benrey crawled up- right up next to Gordon, practically curling into himself. The noise was not expected- Gordon partially sat up to listen in. "What is- are you okay right now??" Benrey had shut his eyes, trying not to focus too much on how obviously concerned Gordon was for his wellbeing. "purrin'." Gordon jumped up, looking at the other in total disbelief.

"You can fucking PURR??" He yelled, before instantly shutting himself up and leaning in closer to Benrey's chest to listen. It was like a cat. Benrey had many similarities to a cat, and Gordon had mentally noted every last thing he could think of. Getting up into high places, his eyes- they were damn near cat-like too, the more he got up close to Benrey the more he saw it.

Whatever made him purr absolutely had Gordon in awe- something about it just made the idea of Benrey a lot more-

Interesting.

That's what he had meant to say. Interesting. "I- I had no idea. I just don't know anything about what you are I mean- You're not human, I know that but-"

"you're the only person who knows besides tommy" he opened his eyes again, getting re adjusted to the bright light he had unintentionally looked directly into. "I thought you got examined in Black Mesa?" .... "only purr when i'm happy like cats do" he smacked his lips a couple times.

Oh.

It almost made him feel bad. "You're happy right now, then?" he continued to question, still sitting upright next to the smaller man. "yea why wouldn't i be?" he batted his eyes dumbly, like Gordon had just asked him the most stupid fucking question he'd ever heard. "we used to be friends." Where had he gotten that, anyways? It didn't matter all that much, it didn't seem like he was gonna drop it any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Benrey purring is just a random headcanon and i have no idea where i got it from,,,


	8. Chapter 8

They woke up almost exactly the same way they had fallen asleep, not too far from each other and with the lights on. The only difference, Gordon noticed, was that Benrey had his fingers tangled in his hair. He hadn't remembered when that had come about- he didn't quite worry about that part.

He had woken up first, leaving Benrey alone in the bedroom while he started everything off for the day. The night before was strange. He had basically admitted that he was happy around Gordon- which he had never done before. In fact he had done the exact opposite before. But he didn't like Benrey. Not like that. Not at *all* like that. He wondered why he was asking himself about those things in the first place.

It didn't matter, he had something else to worry about.

It had been long enough to let things settle, right?

He had been planning on talking to the others for a while. Not that he hadn't talked to them at all, Tommy still checked in with everyone nearly every day and shared news between the group through text, but he figured it would be good to update everyone on the whole Benrey situation.

He had been keeping everyone else in the dark about it. Mostly because he didn't know how everyone felt towards Benrey anymore. Gordon wasn't feeling *as* upset as he was before, but then again, no one else had even said a word to or about Benrey since Xen.

It's hard to form a relationship with someone that you think is dead, after all.

Out of everyone- Tommy seemed like he'd be the most reasonable person to speak to about Benrey first. It was honestly hard to tell how the others would react to it- they were two of the most unpredictable people Gordon had ever met.

But Tommy was generally understanding.

That's why Gordon had called him first.

Tommy had always opened the call with a very peppy "Hi!" since Gordon had known him, which only made his stomach turn this time. "Yeah! Hey! I uh, need to talk to you about something kind of important." He began, a faint giggling and a bark coming in from the other side.

"What's up?" Gordon thought back, way back, trying to figure out exactly how to start this off. "Well.. you know Benrey... how he was supposed to be dead??" Shuffling on the other side for a moment. "Yeah....?" suspicion seeping into his voice. "He's uh, Benrey isn't dead." He finished that thought, and listened closely.

He gasped, "You're- you're kidding with me, right?" He didn't sound very angry, more shocked than anything, which was to be expected. His (ex?) friend had risen from the dead yet again, anyone would be surprised if they got that type of news.

"Nope. I've been- He's been staying here, for a few days now and-" he was cut off; "A few- few days???? Why didn't you tell me????" he sounded more hurt about that than the Benrey part. "I wanted to give it a few days- Just so you guys had a chance to be normal for a while-" he placed a hand on the back of his neck.

"How could anything possibly be normal with you keeping something- something like that from us???" the way Tommy put things almost made his questions seem rhetorical, even though he generally meant well. He made a good point at least.

"Do Bubby and Coomer know yet?" He asked after a good minute of silence from Gordon's side. "No I- I was meaning to tell them after you," Tommy let out a noise that could only be described as a 'hmph' before continuing. "Maybe we could- maybe we should all come over and meet with him!" the tone picked up immensely. "Are you sure you'll be okay to see him again this soon?" Gordon was concerned.

"Of course! It'll be like a- like uh-"

"Like a reunion?"

"Yeah! like that!"

Gordon had even more to think about than before.


	9. Chapter 9

Gordon continued telling the rest of the details over the phone, from how they met face to face in the theater bathroom to how Benrey had followed him home.

Tommy had finished the call saying that he would take care of telling Bubby and Coomer about the whole Benrey situation, and told Gordon only to worry about his house guest for the time being.

Right, Benrey was still in Gordon's room.

Gordon walked in to see Benrey still laying in a very similar position as when he originally left the room.

Benrey had gotten to touch Gordon's hair, so what was the harm in looking at his? Just once. While he was asleep.

He walked over, gently placing a hand on top of the other's head, before moving his hand to take the hat off-

"don't." His eyes shot open, giving Gordon the usual deep and unmoving look he always did. He blinked a few times, searching his expression, before looking in a different direction, his face visibly heating up.

"I didn't know if you were still asleep or not," Gordon said first, walking towards the other. "i heard when you were talkin' out there, not a heavy sleeper, bro" Gordon sat just on the edge of the bed. "I was talking to the guys- I told them about you being back." Benrey's eyes widened almost impossibly too far. "aw what. they gonna come out here with like- uh, tryna hunt me down and stuff??"

"Tommy really wants to see you." He said, looking all too deeply into Benrey's eyes. "woah really???" Benrey asked leaning in just a bit more. Gordon nodded. "yo... epic." He seemed to stare right through Gordon for that moment, thoughts all being taken up by the idea of seeing his friends again.

"Tommy said he was gonna talk to the others... do a reunion thing. He didn't say when, so I guess we'll just find out when-" Gordon got 3 separate texts.

At the same time.

One from Tommy:

"Good news! They agreed to come with me :)!"

Another from Coomer:

"Tommy told me the news! I'd missed the two of you! We'll see you then!"

Then finally:

"What the fuck, Freeman?"

Gordon only had one main question; "What did Coomer mean by 'see you then'? When was 'then'?"

Tommy made the plans in the first place, he would have to ask him.


	10. Chapter 10

His question didn't get answered the way he'd wanted it to, before Tommy had even texted back everyone had shown up. It doesn't help if you text someone the time of the plans when you're already at their house.

Tommy walked in first, coming up to Gordon and loosely hugging him before walking past and going inside. Coomer followed not too far behind him, patting Gordon on the back as he walked in.

Bubby walked right past, only nodding in Gordon's direction.

"Finally! It's the- it's the first Science Team reunion!" Tommy was basically bouncing in his seat at that. "Yes! It's been approximately six days since we've all been together!" Coomer replied with almost matching enthusiasm.

"You said Benrey's been staying with you, hm?" Bubby said looking around a bit. "Yeah he uh, followed me home when Gman finally let us go." Tommy was listening intently "Has he caused any problems?" He asked glancing back down the hall. "It's Benrey, of course he's gonna cause problems."

Gordon figured that Tommy would be the first to want to talk with Benrey, they had known each other longer than anyone in the Science Team really had.

Benrey was still holed up in Gordon's room at the moment, told to wait there just in case. No one seemed to really have much of a grudge against Benrey anymore, Tommy seemed more excited than anything, and Coomer never really concerned himself with hating someone for too long.

Bubby didn't give a damn, but that went for a lot of things. Bubby did not give a damn about a lot of things. It was probably Gordon who was most in his head about his feelings towards Benrey.

They were on *decent* terms, but last night was odd. Neither of them talked about it, and maybe Benrey wasn't thinking of it the same way, but Gordon found it to be odd. It made him feel odd.

Benrey peeked out of the room at all the noise, catching Tommy in his view first as he was sitting at the far end of the couch which was closest to the door. He reluctantly opened the door and walked out, greeted by Tommy smiling and him and standing up in front of him.

"It really is you...!" Tommy fiddled with his hands for a moment, not taking the initiative and hugging Benrey right away. He was taller than Benrey. A *lot* taller than Benrey. Roughly a foot taller without Benrey wearing his boots, if you could imagine that.

He was awfully tall, and everyone had just figured he had gotten it from his father. Benrey grabbed at Tommy's hands for a moment before hugging Tommy himself. "You're small again" Tommy giggled as he pulled away. "i know i used to be all big at uh, back at xen but now feetman is all like, taller than me too" Tommy glanced back and forth between the two.

"I hate to break it to you but everyone is taller than you, Benrey." Coomer chimed in. He was absolutely right. And it was absolutely funny.

"So, you're trusting him enough to stay with you now?" Bubby asked, legs crossed.

"Well, I'm trying to- it's- yes, but I don't know if I'll really trust him fully-" Gordon was a terrible liar. And Bubby knew that, too. He simply raised an eyebrow, trying to make sense of Gordon's stuttering.

Gordon knew that Benrey was really growing on him, and that there was some developing feeling there, but he refused to admit it to anyone. He hardly admitted it to himself. But, then again, he was a terrible liar. Everyone else could tell it.

And they were not gonna leave him alone until they forced the truth out of him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the eleventh chapter, alternatively "the one where Bubby and Coomer give their thoughts on the situation"

"Excuse us, will you?" Bubby stood, practically shoving Gordon out of the livingroom and into the kitchen, Coomer coming along behind him.

Tommy had nodded to them to go do whatever they were about to do and stayed back with Benrey, 'catching up', as much as you really could. There wasn't too much to catch up on.

"You're horrible at hiding things!" Coomer started off despite Bubby being the one to excuse the three of them in the first place.

"Hey-! What do you mean? You think I'm hiding something from you?" He got awfully defensive for someone that had 'nothing to hide'.

"You're too obvious, you know." Bubby pushed his glasses slightly up the bridge of his nose and crossed his arms.

"Obvious about what exactly?" Gordon continued to question when it should've been the other way around. "Something must've happened in the week you've had a roommate!" He pushed, getting mildly irritated.

Gordon got visibly nervous, thinking back to just the night before. "We almost know you better than you know yourself, it's fine to open up to us, dear." Coomer clasped his hands together and walked to stand by Bubby.

"I'm just- confused." Gordon let his shoulders drop and he let out an exasperated sigh. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about him." he glanced towards the door to the livingroom. "Has something changed in the way you feel about him?" They pressed on. These two would just not let it go.

"It's just that- i don't know.." He trailed off in mental debate over whether he should give them any kind of information about last night- or how he'd been feeling the days before that. As much as he didn't think they would blackmail him, the possibility was always open.

"Last night he slept in my room..." He took one hand and covered his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't suppose you could be developing feelings for him, too, could you?" Coomer said leaning in just a bit with widened eyes.

"What do you mean by that?" Gordon removed his hand from his face and held it at his side. "Lord knows that boy is so obvious" Coomer said, glancing at the doorway as Gordon had previously done. "Obvious?" The more he said the more confused he seemed to get.

"He used to flirt with you all the time!" Gordon came to a harsh realization. A *harsh* realization. "I thought he was just..! Fucking with me..!" His eyes widened and he nearly cringed at how hard he must've tried to ignore it all in the past.

"Of course you wouldn't see it, you can't even sort your own feelings let alone pick up on someone else's." Bubby snapped.

Coomer gently held one of Gordon's hands between his and smiled. "You should take some time to sort out your feelings for Benrey... that's what I did and things worked out fine!" He backed away and placed his hands behind his back. "I thought you were divorced?" He narrowed his eyes at the pair just a bit.

"It's been so long he's already gotten re-married, do keep up, Gordon." Bubby chimed in. "Re-married? To who?"

Bubby held up his dominant hand- showing a ring.

"You're in a relationship now?" fucking hit after hit with realizations today, great job, Gordon. "Of course! We've been married since before the Resonance Cascade!" He held Bubby's shoulders.

"i don't get it- but you guys have fist fought before?" Gordon looked back and forth between the two of them, just now notching they both wore rings. "is it really a marriage if you can't fistfight your husband?" Bubby answered, raising an eyebrow.

"marrying him was like marrying a feral dog! which i mean in the best way possible of course." Bubby's face went red, it was hard to discern if it was from anger or embarrassment- maybe a bit of both.

The two left the room, leaving Gordon to think for a moment. Just as he almost said it to himself- Tommy walked in, pointing back towards Benrey's direction "Do you mind- mind if I take him off your hands for a little while?" He offered a genuine smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello I'm making it clear that i really don't want to disappoint anyone with this fic but thank you for the support??? i really just wrote this for fun but i appreciate it <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just really like writing Tommy and Benrey bonding okay

Tommy had already kind of been able to tell Benrey's side of things just from the way he acted around Gordon, which was like an absolute fool.

So he'd insisted on spending some quality one-on-one bro time with Benrey (not his exact words, but that's how the latter recited it).

He flopped back onto his own bed, his charms jingling as they clashed together from the sudden movement. He shared one with everyone in the Science Team now; 2 necklaces, one with a charm for each Bubby and Coomer, the other holding the two charms meant for Benrey and Gordon.

Then, there was the bracelet- hey wait, that one was new.

"oohh who's special enough to get one of tommy's friendship charms hm?" Benrey pointed at the bracelet on Tommy's wrist. His face flushed at that.

"You remember Darnold, right? From uh- Mixology?" Benrey laid down next to the other, on his stomach, propping his head up with his hand. "OHH him. i fucked around on his computer, yeah?" his tone gradually went to normal after that.

"Mhm. But that's enough about that for now, How've things been going with mr Freeman?" Benrey got caught off guard, so ready to tease someone about their relationship that he'd gotten spooked when his own was brought up.

"good. s'been good." he quickly stopped himself from going on in the hopes that Tommy may let it go. "Any more of a detailed version??" He smiled at the other.

Tommy had picked up maybe just a *little* too much from him over the years.

"just chillin... laid next to him, showed him the purring and- yeah that." Tommy nodded along. "Did you fall asleep?" Benrey looked away, feeling his face heat up. "yeah kinda..." Tommy noticed it all too well. "You really care about mr Freeman, don't you?"

Tommy sat up a bit, moving to sit criss cross in front of Benrey. "...obvious?" he looked upwards at his friend, who closed his eyes and nodded slowly.

"That's his- Those are his clothes, aren't they?" He taunted. "how could you tell??" Benrey lifted his head off his hand and stopped the kicking of his feet in the air. "They're way too big for you, besides you- you were living at Black Mesa!" Tommy was much too hard to lie to.

They had just known each other for so long that Tommy noticed those things- and vice versa (the charm bracelet).

"think he still hates me tho" he burried his head back into his hand and resumed kicking his legs. Sunkist perked up and walked over to the side of the bed, wagging her tail and waiting for Tommy to notice her there. "I'm not too sure how to help you with that part.." He put one hand on his chin and began to pet Sunkist with the other.

"Maybe just- give him some time. I- I'm sure he'll come around eventually." He gave a warm smile, with an almost pitying look in his eyes. "I've been having a bit of an issue with my relationship lately too-"

"they're scared of your dad, huh?"

His eyes widened, looking possibly just as mad as Tommy could look in such a non threatening situation. "How- How did you know that??" Benrey shot the other a sharp smile "intuition"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kind of want to write something that has to do with Darnold being scared of Gman ngl.. no promises i have low motivation lmao


	13. Chapter 13

It had to have been past 3am when Benrey got back to Gordon's place, he and Tommy just did the usual hanging out that they always did (with the added teasing each other for having feelings for someone).

Bubby and Coomer dished out all the advice they could give to Gordon after Tommy and Benrey left the house, but between the time the two older men left and the time Benrey had gotten home, it gave Gordon his much needed 100% alone time.

Which involved a fair amount of panic over 'new found' feelings that just seemed to make everything fit in his head too well for Gordon to be comfortable with.

It would explain

Way too much.

Like why he felt his heart ache when Benrey told him that he could feel everything when he 'died' and how he thought Benrey looked so nice in his clothes-

If they were right about his feelings, which he was pretty sure they were, then that would mean Gordon was absolutely fucked right now.

Benrey had apologized, but that didn't make any of what he did right ! There was supposed to be more, more time. "Maybe it's stockholm syndrome." He said out loud to no one but himself.

But it didn't feel that way. He knew it wasn't that way. This might not even be a recent thing, he had just basically been told that he was in denial. He didn't think he felt all these things before, back when Benrey was only around to pester him about his passport.

But he also didn't think he had feelings for Benrey now until Bubby and Coomer called him out on it.

For the few hours he was alone Gordon could have swore he had his head in his hands for almost the entire time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "There was supposed to be more, more time" is literally just me to myself because i'm horrible at slowburn holy shit


	14. Chapter 14

Gordon would have to admit that the night felt more lonely than the last. Though Benrey was still around, it still felt empty.

It's not common to feel anything but hate for someone once they do something that bad, and it hurt. They had hurt each other in the past, and the thought of it only grew.

Even if he shouldn't, Gordon just wanted Benrey back close to him.

But how embarrassing would it be to ask him to come stay with him again?

Maybe he didn't really want much to do with him, after all?

Maybe Bubby and Coomer were wrong and Benrey really was just messing with him the entire time he was 'flirting'.

Bubby made him bet $10 that they were right, though.

He had found it terribly hard to look at the other properly without feeling somewhat guilty, feeling bad about the attraction.

The silence was loud enough when they weren't speaking.

Benrey had backed off a lot. Not even following him around the house and asking him the most obvious questions or sitting wildly close to him even though there was more than enough room on the couch like he usually did.

It felt weird, very weird. Coming down from denial was bad. The more he realized the worse he felt about- everything. Black Mesa was a fucking mess. 

He didn't realize he was going to cry until it had already started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really wrote touch starved on main, huh??


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter the last few are pretty much pure fluff so,,

Gordon had his highs and lows. He tried to make sure the lowest points were in private, though. Benrey had been living in the same house as him for 7 days now. Every single breakdown happened in the comfort of his own room.

That night, though, Benrey could hear Gordon from out in the living room, making some kind of noise from beyond the bedroom door, and it prompted Benrey to go investigate.

He wandered down the hall and stood to listen momentarily- yeah, he was definitely crying. Why was he crying? He seemed fine the day before.

He decided to open the door like a normal person- though he wasn't a normal 'person'- he just thought that entering this way would be more- pleasant, than just shifting straight through the wall.

The door creaked open, and Benrey slowly peaked his head in, cautiously as to not alarm the already obviously upset man on the other side.

Gordon didn't look up; he sat on his bed with his glasses on his lap, sniffling for whatever reason. Things were going pretty good, Benrey thought. He just wanted Gordon to not be so upset, was all.

"hey you uh, doin okay?" He asked, softly, as to not disrupt the quietness of the house any more than he had originally intended. This time Gordon did look up, just squinting in Benrey's general direction (right, he didn't have his glasses on).

He really didn't need to; he knew who was there, but what had caught him off guard was the softness in his voice- showing some sort of genuine concern.

"I... I'm fine. I'll be- I'll be fine." He said, attempting to wipe his eyes as if nothing had happened, as if nothing had been happening.

But Benrey was too far in to just walk away, that wasn't like him at all. If anything he would bother his roommate into leaving his own bedroom. Benrey scurried over and sat down at the corner of the bed, looking at Gordon, studying him, almost.

He had seen Gordon upset before, he was used to the sight. He was upset so much at Black mesa, but now he was safe. Why did it feel so bad to see Gordon upset now? Worse than before. Just because Benrey was used to it didn't mean he liked it.

"want me to stay with you?" he asked out in the same gentle tone from before, watching Gordon nod slowly. "Yeah I- don't leave me again. Not right now." he was still steadily crying, pretending like he wasn't. It showed through in his voice, raspy and tired. Benrey didn't bother to look at the time.

"I just- I remembered what you said to me and I just-" He put his head in hand. "wha, huh?" he scooted up on the bed more, listening intently to what Gordon had to say. "You could still feel it- all of it- I hurt you too, didn't I?"

Benrey could've said the way he spoke made him sound rather pathetic, and it wouldn't be too far from the truth. The way his voice got softer towards the end of the question, trying not to whimper and the way he tried to choke back tears.

This was a rare sight, and Benrey was absolutely greatful it was a rare sight because he hated it. He hated that he was still causing a problem in Gordon's mind to the point where he would be crying like this. "but it's over now, i hurt you first. and i'm still here, man"

He was close to Gordon, something that he might've called 'uncomfortably close' in the past but he sure as hell wasn't complaining now. He kept looking away, it was hard considering Benrey was so close to his face.

He got tired of it and grabbed Gordon's face with both his hands and gently turned his head to look at him. Gordon went red at that, Benrey could tell that even if the room wasn't very bright. He sighed.

"....'s all good...." He trailed off, his own thoughts interrupting him. He moved his hands down to Gordon's shoulders, Gordon was still holding onto his glasses which were currently still on his lap.

Benrey didn't really know how to ground people- he wasn't even sure if he was grounded himself- but as soon as he turned Gordon's head, the latter had tried his best to focus on the details of Benrey's face.

Gordon didn't look mad right now; his expression had already gone from a deep worried look to sniffling and looking at the other wide-eyed. He lifted his glasses and pushed them up the bridge of his nose.

Benrey hummed, letting a bit of sweet voice escape from it. Gordon was still focused on the person in front of him, the bright blue lights just missing his face didn't distract; he just wanted to make sure Benrey was really there and alright.

Gordon pulled him by his waist into a hug, which took Benrey by surprise. He didn't refuse it or pull away, no, this was what he was trying to achieve. Just for Gordon to trust him. Just a little bit.

He returned the hug, softly rubbing circles into Gordon's back. "i'm not mad now" he whispered into his ear, feeling Gordon's breathing begin to steady. The room stayed silent for a while, Benrey holding the other in an attempt to comfort him.

"aren't you kinda tired 'n stuff?" Benrey asked, concerned with how late it must be right now. He hadn't looked at the time recently, but it had to be past 1 am now. "Yeah I haven't... slept yet..." He trailed, as Benrey finally pulled away.

"i'll uh, go back out so you can-" He turned, trying to leave Gordon alone for the night, before he felt something grab his sleeve. "Stay?... Just for now...?" His face was still red, and Benrey couldn't quite tell if it was from his crying or something else.

There was something in his face that Benrey just couldn't refuse- he already knew he was pretty hopeless but god- he really had it bad.

Gordon pulled back the sheet and patted the spot next to him in the bed, still partially avoiding eye contact but making sure the other was catching on.

Berey slowly climbed in, cautious like he might do something wrong or misread the obvious signals.

They both laid down, Gordon faced Benrey and watched as the latter laid on his back, still humming out the calming sweet voice Gordon was familiar with. "Pretty.." He muttered under his breath in the hopes Benrey wouldn't hear him.

"y'know, tommy said that about the sweet voice when i first showed him too."

Gordon wasn't talking about the sweet voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God i fucking SUCK at slowburn!! I feel like this can't really count as slow burn, it is not slow whatsoever. I can't figure another way I would do filler with these characters so?¿

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh this is my first time writing these characters,, I'm not sure how often I'll update this or how long it's gonna be but I've had really bad hlvrai brainrot for a while now,,, ,, if I made any mistakes or if you have any critique please let me know !


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